I recently moved into my own place. First time ever living on my own. Initially I was pretty numb about it due to everything I have going on, but now that the bills are hitting and the other adult like responsibilities are settling in I’m realizing it’s a bit overwhelming. These new responsibilities are making me so much more grateful for the upraising that I was granted. It’s making me much more appreciative of my parents and how carefree I was able to be because of their hard work, care, and sacrifice. I am finally getting what I asked for in that I’m allowed real breathing space for the first time. I am looking out for myself and managing all things Cyrene. I have somewhat been set free of my “momager.” The freedom is nice, but I will miss being told to take my vitamins and not to eat gluten every five minutes.
Although I’m jumping into this whole adult thing a little scared, I’m proud of myself for doing this and identifying areas of growth and areas that I still need to develop in at the same time. I’ll never stop growing and I’ll never stop improving - this is what makes life an exciting journey. I’m excited to use this as a stepping-stone to launch me into this new phase of life.
Shifting gears a bit here but,
I’d like to take a moment to address this season of Thicker Than Water and my behavior that’s been exhibited thus far. First and foremost, I do not condone or agree with disrespect - period. It’s not okay to treat the ones you love with disregard. Unfortunately when you work 12-14 hour days in front of a camera, in the midst of trying to figure out who you want to be, and balancing all the things that I balance, things get stressful and I didn’t handle that stress the way in which I should have. Aside from the edits and cuts that I do believe dramatized my behavior on a larger scale, I definitely had some growing and learning to do. I was in a very selfish state at that time and didn’t really care much for anyone or anything unless it was benefitting me. Thankfully I’ve had some time to reflect and review my actions and thought processes since then. I am now in a more clear place with regards to self awareness and awareness of the feelings of others. As I continue to experience more of life on my own and my own terms, I become more and more humble. When facing new things it can be scary and cause us, as humans, to act out of character. This seems to be the season where you all get to see the real me, flaws and all. I am eternally grateful for everyone who has been supportive and patient with me as I grow into who I want to be. Hang in there with me guys!