Thanks to my good friend Khari (@khariamir) for this quote, said by Nayyirah Waheed. ^^
I've taken notice that our society, our generation puts so much emphasis on what a relationship should be, what it should look like; in other words establishing “relationship goals”.
What most people my age don’t realize is that these are the most important, selfish, fundamental, and formative years of your lives.
The issue is this, we get so caught up in wanting a “bae” that we end up being more infatuated with the idea of the person or having a person than actually being with the person. That's mistake numero uno. Once we’ve proceeded past the “I like you phase” the “I love you phase” and things get a little more difficult than you bargained for you often times wonder how the heck did I get to this point? This is the breaking point. The most difficult and the most often painful point, if you’re anything like me.
Being in love with the idea of love is dangerous. Not having balance and recognizing the difference between the idea and the actual action can be detrimental to the brain ESPECIALLY at a young age. Oh, how it screws with one's head, the ladies know what I'm speaking on. In retrospect, I’m happy I have experienced what I thought love to be. If I hadn’t I would have nothing to compare it to. As a result, I'm smarter, better, wiser, not to mention an overall happier person. This is ironic because well the guy “of my dreams” was actually telling me I was close to none of these things.
GIRLS listen up: DON’T YOU EVER GIVE A BOY(anyone) ENOUGH POWER OVER YOU TO EFFECTIVELY TOY WITH YOUR EMOTIONS. If you feel yourself going into this downward spiral then you should probably readjust the basis of your relationship or run away from the guy as fast as you can. No one, I repeat NO ONE is worth you losing yourself for. You are better than that, you are stronger than that, and you are too valuable for that. (This goes for not just my ladies but, everyone) anyhow it is imperative that you truly connect with yourself in these early adult years. Educate yourself, love yourself, find out what you like and dislike. Have FUN. These are your years to be selfish, if you aren’t married and don’t have kids, take advantage of this! Live your life the way you intended to! Travel, get that body right, eat healthy with that occasional ice cream cone and a cheat meal on the weekends. The last thing you should be worried about is taking care of anyone else! When you make yourself the priority, watch what you can do! The sky is truly the limit.
The one true relationship goal you should have is with yourself. You should use this time to court yourself so that you won’t have to waste that time. You’ll have a keener sense of awareness of your expectations for yourself and henceforth your partners. After all, you gotta love yourself first, and you must teach people how to treat you. With that being said, stop being so pressed to impress others and impress and invest into yourself. The relationship will come but it all starts and with you, your preparation, and loving yourself more.